My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
