never play flip cup with pint glasses
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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