I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
