I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize