dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
