i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize