I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dear god my vagina.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
