Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
