i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
