i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
