Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
