your parents love me but you hate me
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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