Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
