Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
