maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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