you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
