Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
