then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
