You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i barfeds in our rink
i was born a porn star she said
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
