Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
