So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
