Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
