those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
