My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
