she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
