Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
