I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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