You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
