I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
