whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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