do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
