I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
