Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
