Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
