so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
