You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
