All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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