Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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