there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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