i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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