I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
