Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize