He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
