O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
