matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
