If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
