Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
