In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
