that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
