He kissed a someone with a penis
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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