Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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