I'm drive I can fine osifer
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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