i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Are we still banned from the library?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
