Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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