I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
