I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
