I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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