her vagine was all disorganized.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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