oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We got so high we made milksteak
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
