I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
