My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
