It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
