OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
