i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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