She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
