he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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