I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
