u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
