I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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