My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize