pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
