do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
