So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
