But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You work out of a Hotel?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
