When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
